Välkommen hit, välkommen hem

Uppsala's Domkyrka Cathedral and the Fyris River as seen from Östra Ågatan

Hallå from Sweden! It's been four days since I began this adventure in Uppsala and I am still in disbelief that I'm back. When I arrived at the train station on Tuesday afternoon, I saw an old favorite - the sign that reads: "Välkommen hit, välkommen hem." Welcome here, welcome home. I studied here more than three years ago, and this week has been a homecoming of sorts. Walking past old haunts, familiar cafés, or a favorite park - the feeling is absolutely surreal. Much is the same, and much is different. I am reminded of the Nelson Mandela quote: "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." This could not ring more true now. Many of the people who made living here so memorable before are now scattered across countries and continents, and the circumstances of my being here are different. And I am different.  Even still, the magic of this place is as present as ever. 

Välkommen hit, välkommen hem represents the beginning of this new adventure, this new challenge of forging a home and a life in a favorite city. I couldn't be more nervous, excited and overwhelmed. But I'm game for it. 

- EM

In Those Small Moments

A rare thing happened this weekend: my family was all in the same place. With my parents in California, my brother in New York and me, bopping from Kentucky to Sweden, we aren't together often. I guess you could say we're a close bunch for not being close at all.  When we have these opportunities to see each other, I am thrilled.  And we celebrate with great meals and countless toasts and big hugs, but without a doubt, I most enjoy the small moments. 

An evening trip to the lake. 

A post-brunch nap. 

A winding conversation. 

A favorite movie and a crowded couch. 

These are the moments I love - the small, the mundane, the familiar. 

I will so miss these moments and the people who make them so special when I move next week, but I know I'll be making new memories and savoring so many new experiences.

- EM

Taking Some Time

Summer has always been a time of resolution for me. In school, it was a time to recharge or recommit, an opportunity to show up on that first day of school looking and feeling better than ever.  And yet, the past several years I've lost sight of that. It was the summer jobs or the summer classes or the combination of the two that kept me from that reflective space you find in long days of little obligation.

This year, I've reclaimed that summer feeling. I've had weeks to sleep late, read for hours, go for hikes, linger over meals, savor that second cup of coffee... I've been lucky. I have a family that supports me, time between jobs, a beautiful place to call home. I am, for lack of a better term, totally blissed out. But how can we maintain this when life isn't so simple? How can we take time for ourselves when responsibilities to others seem overwhelming? 

Next week I'll pack up and move to start a new job in Sweden. I'm sure the obligations will pile up, and with them the stresses. In taking time this summer, I'm taking time for then. I'm making reflection and resolution a priority. I'm reminding myself that coffee is best enjoyed in a favorite mug and not a to-go cup. I'm recalling that a great workout beats a good nap and that the NatGeo Instagram account* is no substitute for the real deal. Taking this time has undoubtedly been a luxury, but I can't help but think that our normal lives, our busy lives, can be filled with little luxuries too. 

- EM

*This account is still beautiful and you should check it out here. 

An Introduction

Welcome to The Fill-Up! You seem to have found yourself in this little corner of the internet, and I couldn't be more excited that you're here. So while you're visiting, let me tell you how I got here myself. 

Some time in the fall of 2013, I found myself wandering the aisles of a retail behemoth looking for that perfect throw pillow or candle or decorative vase that would make my apartment home. I was certain this perfect something would tie up any and all loose ends in my life - and there were many. A few months prior, I had moved to a new city to start my first postgrad job. By the fall, I felt physically and emotionally exhausted. All of the newness - new city, new job, new friends, new responsibilities - had gotten to me. Call it homesickness or the postgrad blues, but either way I felt a void in this new life. For the better part of a year, I tricked myself into thinking this void could be filled from something tucked away on a store shelf , hung up nicely on a hanger or even veiled by the perfect photo filter. These pursuits were so obviously fruitless and I was left with lots of stuff, lots of bills and little fulfillment. 

Since this realization, (which was slow to come by...) I have worked towards filling up my life in a more authentic, reflective way. In this time,  I have come to find that so many people, especially us twenty-somethings, face similar struggles. This transitional period often seems like play-acting adulthood, so we find ourselves searching for symbols of maturity or satisfaction in all the wrong places. 

The Fill-Up is a space where I hope to capture this journey towards thoughtful living, a journey I am still very much on myself. It's a space for community, a space where we can work towards leading lives defined by experiences and adventures, the "stuff" of life that truly sustains us. 

- EM